Some Parents...

SynTaXx-Wrath

SynTaXx-Wrath

If you're happy, I'm. . .
My best buddy from work is Harley, he has kind of (putting it nicely) not sane girlfriend that he has a kid with. The chick and their 13 month old son were at a baby shower I was at today and lil Man started blowing spit bubbles. Cute as hell, totally normal for a 13 month old. She got PISSED, told him to stop spitting and slapped his face. :mad: He STOPPED blowing the spit bubbles, she looked at him said "do it again" so lil Man obeying her did it again and she slapped his face again! :confused::confused::confused: Um, kid obeys her and gets slapped for it. Just me or is this messed up?
 
We were talking under our breath about it .. can't wait until he is in school "do your homework" *Trenton doing his homework* <slap!> *lil Man in school with two black eyes the next day* "Damn, Trenton, what did you do?!?" .. "My Homework" :(
 
*Shakes her head*
Sometimes I wonder how it is that anyone can get pregnant and have a baby, but it's so hard to adopt a child...
 
You know what the future will be like when you look at how parents treat their children. Part of me feels badly for parents because they don't know HOW to act.

When my parent's generation was growing up, their parents hit them, my dad was beaten and taught that men have to be the strong ones. Women were taught to be subservient, and not to be outspoken. Men turned out to be dogs of companies - breaking their backs to keep their houses warm, and food good. Women rebelled against their childhood and fought for their place in a man's world. Some won, some lost, but our world changed.

My generation was taught to be strong, intelligent, and dedicated workers. Some of us were spanked, others abused (because it started becoming abuse and not just a parent's right to raise their child), but most of us turned out as decent individuals. We work hard to take care of our own. Some of us look for love when our childhoods gave us none (or so we thought). The line between women and men and our roles in live often are blurry and sometimes we even switch places.

The children in between, and our children are coddeled. Hitting a child for any reason has been found to be abuse. Sharp words in a restaurant are often looked upon with scorn from other people. We're taught to give nothing but love to those growing up. I look around and see mostly spoiled kids doing whatever they like.

Kids should be allowed to be kids. We should also be a good compass to them, and teach them what's right and what's wrong. Should kids be spanked when they steal a candy bar from a store? Hell yes. Should they be allowed to blow bubbles? Hell yes. We need to find a good middle ground again because our future depends on how we're taught as kids. Of course, I'm saying this and I'm probably not going to be able to even have kids. But it's scary to watch the future, and wonder what will happen.

Hello, my name is Tiv, and I missed posting here.
 
Tiveria said:
You know what the future will be like when you look at how parents treat their children. Part of me feels badly for parents because they don't know HOW to act.

When my parent's generation was growing up, their parents hit them, my dad was beaten and taught that men have to be the strong ones. Women were taught to be subservient, and not to be outspoken. Men turned out to be dogs of companies - breaking their backs to keep their houses warm, and food good. Women rebelled against their childhood and fought for their place in a man's world. Some won, some lost, but our world changed.

My generation was taught to be strong, intelligent, and dedicated workers. Some of us were spanked, others abused (because it started becoming abuse and not just a parent's right to raise their child), but most of us turned out as decent individuals. We work hard to take care of our own. Some of us look for love when our childhoods gave us none (or so we thought). The line between women and men and our roles in live often are blurry and sometimes we even switch places.

The children in between, and our children are coddeled. Hitting a child for any reason has been found to be abuse. Sharp words in a restaurant are often looked upon with scorn from other people. We're taught to give nothing but love to those growing up. I look around and see mostly spoiled kids doing whatever they like.

Kids should be allowed to be kids. We should also be a good compass to them, and teach them what's right and what's wrong. Should kids be spanked when they steal a candy bar from a store? Hell yes. Should they be allowed to blow bubbles? Hell yes. We need to find a good middle ground again because our future depends on how we're taught as kids. Of course, I'm saying this and I'm probably not going to be able to even have kids. But it's scary to watch the future, and wonder what will happen.

Hello, my name is Tiv, and I missed posting here.
Click to expand...
I agree with your general point of view, very much. But, there are a lot of kids that turn out great, even if not spanked. I think that a parent pulling their kids hair, or giving them a little slap on the bum, is okay if they have been really bad. But it should NOT be something that happens often. And a kid should NEVER be beaten, no matter what. We are adults and should state a good example - violence feeds violence... And, sometimes people have a really hard time to draw the line between beating their child, and just spanking them.

I think whats lacking is:
- parents not being consequent
- parents not setting up rules and making sure that they follow up on them
- that parents dont commit to being parents
- that they dont do things with their children as a family = quality time. (And if necessery, force their kid to spend time with family, because they will thank their parents in the end. They wont thank you for letting them sit by the TV nor the computer when they grow up, they will just look at you and wonder where you were when you as a parent were needed...)

An example:
I have a few really rough students at work. I am very firm, strong willed, and consequent as a teacher, but very fair, and also very silly and I joke around with them (which they love). I have set rules, and they are to follow them, period...and I make sure they do so, and they know it. If I have to stay until 7 pm and wait someone out to make sure they do, I do it. And you know what? These are the students that I get an awesome connection with, and they come to me and talk about personal things that they would never share with anyone else - they put alot of trust in me. Why? Because by acting this way, they know I care and love them. They know that Im there to say no for them, when they cant say no themselves. Children needs rules, and they need help saying no when they cant do it them selves. And the kids that you have the most arguments with, that tests the boundries the most, are the kids that you usually become closest to, and that I feel the strongest connection with.
I'm not saying Im a magician that can deal with just any kid, I can't, but by experience, this is what I've learnt.


Dont EVER give up on a child, ever! Sadly, a lot of parents/grown ups do...
 
Last edited:
This side of you I've been learning more of Zana, reminds me much of a teacher I first met when I was growing up in Kent, still know to this day and chat with. She's just the same in her ways of a teacher, and a friend to her pupils.
Renate doesn't work no more per-say as a teacher, but as the person she was as a Teacher hasn't changed, and those same students still come to her, just the same, just like you find they do to you.

People like that, make a real difference to kids, and adults in their lives, special people, that we must cherish to have in our lives.
 
I told Harley tonight and he mentioned something to her in a phone call and she laughed it off like she was playing. Slapping a face isn't playing.. I don't care WHAT my kid does it would never warrant a slap on the face (or anywhere else for that matter) a child learns more from positive reenforcement than bad
 
Tiveria said:
You know what the future will be like when you look at how parents treat their children. Part of me feels badly for parents because they don't know HOW to act.

When my parent's generation was growing up, their parents hit them, my dad was beaten and taught that men have to be the strong ones. Women were taught to be subservient, and not to be outspoken. Men turned out to be dogs of companies - breaking their backs to keep their houses warm, and food good. Women rebelled against their childhood and fought for their place in a man's world. Some won, some lost, but our world changed.

My generation was taught to be strong, intelligent, and dedicated workers. Some of us were spanked, others abused (because it started becoming abuse and not just a parent's right to raise their child), but most of us turned out as decent individuals. We work hard to take care of our own. Some of us look for love when our childhoods gave us none (or so we thought). The line between women and men and our roles in live often are blurry and sometimes we even switch places.

The children in between, and our children are coddeled. Hitting a child for any reason has been found to be abuse. Sharp words in a restaurant are often looked upon with scorn from other people. We're taught to give nothing but love to those growing up. I look around and see mostly spoiled kids doing whatever they like.

Kids should be allowed to be kids. We should also be a good compass to them, and teach them what's right and what's wrong. Should kids be spanked when they steal a candy bar from a store? Hell yes. Should they be allowed to blow bubbles? Hell yes. We need to find a good middle ground again because our future depends on how we're taught as kids. Of course, I'm saying this and I'm probably not going to be able to even have kids. But it's scary to watch the future, and wonder what will happen.

Hello, my name is Tiv, and I missed posting here.
Click to expand...
I can't say how many generations of my family have been raised without being hit by their parents. Neither of my parents grew up in a house where hitting was a normal punishment. I was never hit, not once. My brother and sister both got spanked once each, for the same incident. There are no criminals in my family. No tax cheats, deadbeat dads, or other miscreants. There are executives, professionals, laborers, and a moderately-ranked military officer.

The whole suggestion that kids are growing up soft because their parents can't smack them is absurd. It has more to do with, as Zana already pointed out, disinterested parents. Some parents who were raised in a home with corporal punishment have no idea how to parent without it. It's a lot easier to parent with a whip, but that doesn't mean it's the only or best way.
 
Well, on e of my friends came into school one day with a big cut and I asked him what happened, he said my dad very quickly then walked away. I see it as parents not wanting their kids to make the same mistakes they did, so they feel they have to keep them "in line" so to speak. Or they were hit as a child and think nothing is wrong with it.
 
Here is the thing she has a 3 year old too.. NOT Harley's kid that gets away with MURDER this lil chicka can do ANYTHING she wants and not get punished.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top