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Timi

Timi

New member
How much would you be willing to give up for someone you really care about?

Situation....military woman (you all remember me mentioning her a while back) hit me up today from Iraq expressing her opinions and feelings for me and wants to take things to the next level in the near future.

Problem....Shes in Iraq until september, then stationed in Germany for a week then home for 30 days then back to Germany for another year or two. After those two years shes out of the military, but she is looking at going K-9 and if she does then she'll be redeployed to Iraq another year.

I care about her too, more then any girl I've known, but if we do take things to the next level, that would mean me giving up my job, moving to Germany, leaving friends and family behind for 2 years and if she gets redeployed to Iraq that's an additional year. On the other hand, I don't do it, I could possibly lose a really great girl.

Not sure what to do :unsure:
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Timi @ Jan 8 2006, 01:43 PM) [snapback]23800[/snapback][/center]
How much would you be willing to give up for someone you really care about?

Situation....military woman (you all remember me mentioning her a while back) hit me up today from Iraq expressing her opinions and feelings for me and wants to take things to the next level in the near future.

Problem....Shes in Iraq until september, then stationed in Germany for a week then home for 30 days then back to Germany for another year or two. After those two years shes out of the military, but she is looking at going K-9 and if she does then she'll be redeployed to Iraq another year.

I care about her too, more then any girl I've known, but if we do take things to the next level, that would mean me giving up my job, moving to Germany, leaving friends and family behind for 2 years and if she gets redeployed to Iraq that's an additional year. On the other hand, I don't do it, I could possibly lose a really great girl.

Not sure what to do :unsure:
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That's quite a spot...

I'd say, that if you really love her without question, GO FOR IT!

Never ever let jobs, locations, situations get in the way of what you really want/need. As long as you have that, then everything else will fall in place.

But... her being away will be tough, so make sure this girl is absolutely the one, or it won't end too well...
 
Okay so he didn't go to Europe for me. But he DID go to CT.

First. Yeah. Make sure she's teh absolute one. Second, think about if you will ever regret it and more importabtly, will you resent her for it.

How do you know she's the one? Well, she should be your best friend. Someone you love to have sex with. Someone you love to be around. Someone you can really tell absolutely anything to without fear. On top of this, you need to be able to be comfortable silent, talkative, anything with her.

With all that said. If you do love her, go for it. It's an amazing sacrifice. If you want to talk to someone about it - talk to Voren. He went half-way around the country for me.
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Timi @ Jan 9 2006, 06:43 AM) [snapback]23800[/snapback][/center]
How much would you be willing to give up for someone you really care about?

Situation....military woman (you all remember me mentioning her a while back) hit me up today from Iraq expressing her opinions and feelings for me and wants to take things to the next level in the near future.

Problem....Shes in Iraq until september, then stationed in Germany for a week then home for 30 days then back to Germany for another year or two. After those two years shes out of the military, but she is looking at going K-9 and if she does then she'll be redeployed to Iraq another year.

I care about her too, more then any girl I've known, but if we do take things to the next level, that would mean me giving up my job, moving to Germany, leaving friends and family behind for 2 years and if she gets redeployed to Iraq that's an additional year. On the other hand, I don't do it, I could possibly lose a really great girl.

Not sure what to do :unsure:
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check your PM's
 
I turned down a job that would pay me 3x what i am making now for my GF. if it wasn't for her i'd still be working for the DOD in texas. best decision i ever made. go for it timi you only live once
 
Don't spend the rest of your life thinking what might have been. If you love this girl then show it by making this big sacrifice for her.
 
me and my fiance' at the time wentthrew the same sotra situation- I was being stationed in England for 2 yrs, and the only real options were to get married or her go back to minnesota. we got married, andhavent regretted it since.

Point is- go for it. If your family and friends truely love you, then they will understand. if not, then your better off without htem anyway! and trust me, my wife moved with me from everything she knew in Minnesota to florida, then to england knowing she wouldnt be back to MN for a while. and all her true friends are still friends with her now, nearly 2 yrs later
 
No offense to anyone here but use logic. Love, is often a feeling no different than being drunk. It makes one not be logical but run on instinct. The fact of the matter here no one can give you advice on your intimate relationship cause we are getting just the headlines, not personal stuff that is filled with important details and clues on the success potential of your relationship. I mean she is over in Iraq, but is she wanting the next level due to her situation being in Iraq? Sometimes people are in situations like Iraq and causes them to want something as a result of their situation. I mean I can read people pretty good but it often requires knowing BOTH people involved, not just the quick situation in a post. You know her better than anyone here does. And often while we as people deny the truth of our relationships, we deep down know the truth of our own relationships but we suppress it. My question to you, is it cause of her situation, her fear of losing you (never a good reason to marry someone) that causes her to want this next step? I know everyone says "if you love her follow her" etc etc but let's take a real life look at relationships. Relationships are not a Walt Disney film and sometimes people have a false sense of relationship, only looking at the fantasy of a relationship NOT the reality.

My question, can you be honest about her flaws? Is she flakey? Has she ever cheated on you? Does she lie? It is easy to look at the good qualities of a person (even though we often do not let them know we notice and appreciate the good qualities), but can you stand back from your emotional involvement and say what are her bad qualities that make you question this. Obviously something is holding you back. You have a doubt or a question about things. To me, in the trueist sense of the word love (which most people misuse to cover their fears of loneliness) she would wait for you and you likewise. I find it interesting that she wants you to sacrifice your life for her but as far as your details are concern, I see no sacrifice on her part. It seems that you have to mold to her life completely to be with her. Where it is all noble when someone does that, let's look at reality of the act. I find in my experiences that even if you guys stay together, people often that sacrificed, tend to hold that feeling of anger and regret that they sacrificed all their dreams for another person when the Walt Disney feeling of happiness never materializes. Often that regret or anger is transfered on that person hence destroying the relationship. Do you have goals and dreams being sacrificed if you make this decision to go to her? How would she feel if you made a plan that forced her to change her life for you?

If you want a test, merely suggest her an alternate plan involving her sacrificing her goals and dreams to be with you? To me, a relationship has to have BOTH people actually in LOVE to work. You cannot have one person in love and one not as your relationship will fail. If she is truely not specifically putting her needs ahead of yours, then I say you guys have a chance. Relationships are hard and require alot of work. I have been told that you suffer 80% of difficulties for 20% of the good times. I tend to find that people nowadays lack a level of commitment in relationships and give up when things are hard.
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(El-Diablos @ Jan 10 2006, 06:59 AM) [snapback]24087[/snapback][/center]
....lots of yammering...

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I was going to write out a long post on how I thought the people who already replied we're nuts and had no clue on any real relationship details of your situation, and also how it is all well and good to be a hopeless romantic, but it is another to possibly destroy your life over it, and then I read El-d's post.

Yeah, that about sums it up. This ain't a fucking movie, this is your fucking life. If you had any doubts about doing it (which you obviously do, since you are essentially asking IIA for recommendations) then you probably should not head over to a country that you most likely don't speak a lick of the language of for this woman who you got along well with, but is possibly feeling love remorse because she is stuck in a fucking war zone.

Trust me on this fact. Germany does NOT take well to Americans (or any country, for that matter) coming over to their country to take a job away from one of their own citizens. They treat tourists like gold, but ask for a visa and good luck to ya.

If you have doubts, don't do it.
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Fluffy @ Jan 9 2006, 04:20 PM) [snapback]24091[/snapback][/center]
I was going to write out a long post on how I thought the people who already replied we're nuts and had no clue on any real relationship details of your situation, and also how it is all well and good to be a hopeless romantic, but it is another to possibly destroy your life over it, and then I read El-d's post.

Yeah, that about sums it up. This ain't a fucking movie, this is your fucking life. If you had any doubts about doing it (which you obviously do, since you are essentially asking IIA for recommendations) then you probably should not head over to a country that you most likely don't speak a lick of the language of for this woman who you got along well with, but is possibly feeling love remorse because she is stuck in a fucking war zone.

Trust me on this fact. Germany does NOT take well to Americans (or any country, for that matter) coming over to their country to take a job away from one of their own citizens. They treat tourists like gold, but ask for a visa and good luck to ya.

If you have doubts, don't do it.
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IIA. We bring you back from fantasy land.
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(El-Diablos @ Jan 10 2006, 07:52 AM) [snapback]24101[/snapback][/center]
IIA. We bring you back from fantasy land.
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We make folks feel...umcomfortable
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(El-Diablos @ Jan 10 2006, 07:55 AM) [snapback]24104[/snapback][/center]
which under my stance is fantasy land!!!
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Soooooooooo...ummmm, you have fantasies about being uncomfortable? Like in the back of a volkewswagon? :)
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Fluffy @ Jan 9 2006, 04:56 PM) [snapback]24105[/snapback][/center]
Soooooooooo...ummmm, you have fantasies about being uncomfortable? Like in the back of a volkewswagon? :)
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do you know what volkswagen means? I speak German. I pwn you!!!! I will go with Timi to Germany and be his translator while I chase german women. You must know the safe word. fluggegecheimen
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(El-Diablos @ Jan 10 2006, 07:58 AM) [snapback]24106[/snapback][/center]
do you know what volkswagen means? I speak German. I pwn you!!!! I will go with Timi to Germany and be his translator while I chase german women.
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Yeah you will have to chase them cause their asses will be running from you.

I still stand by what I say, Germany is rough on incoming folks looking for work.
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Fluffy @ Jan 9 2006, 05:01 PM) [snapback]24107[/snapback][/center]
Yeah you will have to chase them cause their asses will be running from you.

I still stand by what I say, Germany is rough on incoming folks looking for work.
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fluggegecheimen
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Fluffy @ Jan 10 2006, 07:56 AM) [snapback]24105[/snapback][/center]
Soooooooooo...ummmm, you have fantasies about being uncomfortable? Like in the back of a volkewswagon? :)
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MALLRATS QUOTE
 
I stick by my opinion due to my real life experience. It worked for me and I couldn't be happier.
 
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