Azrail Aleback
Hmmm
Fixed. I hope
Kyootness Unlimited
- Thread starter Artica
- Start date
How to give your Cat a Pill.
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrive cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear
paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cats head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep
shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, dring glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retriev cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetnus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind
tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from
shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from
right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrive cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear
paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cats head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep
shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, dring glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retriev cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetnus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind
tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from
shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from
right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Merlyn
Thrawn's pretty pretty play thing
how to pill your cat..... ( Go to the vet's and give pill and cat to the Vet tech on call)
You should see the scars on my arms from when I worked as a Vet-tech
and I could tell you some very funny horror stories about cats...
People die from cat bites by the way, one of our techs ended up in the ER and hospital for nearly a week from a cat bite.
You should see the scars on my arms from when I worked as a Vet-tech
and I could tell you some very funny horror stories about cats...
People die from cat bites by the way, one of our techs ended up in the ER and hospital for nearly a week from a cat bite.
Merlyn
Thrawn's pretty pretty play thing
usually from the acute infection that is caused by the bacteria which inhabit cat's mouths. When a cat bites you it's teeth cause long deep puncture wounds ( in terms of tooth to bite size ratio) that close up very quickly and are hard to clean. The body reacts very quickly and sepsis can happen very fast. I have seen a small cat bite turn into an ambulance trip to the ER and person shunted up to ICU within two hours. NASTY.
Cat bites at the clinic I worked with were treated as high level biohzard type accidents. Usually a trip to the ER and antibiotics followed.
http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,635166674,00.html
http://www.thepetcenter.com/imtop/bite.html
I have seen cats litterally climb walls and hang from the ceiling, fly at people's faces and attack them( I know it's happened to me). I have had to have other people pull a cat off me because all four paws and claws as well as all of it's teeth decided to try and assimilate my arm.
I still have the scars... they look liek I tried to commit suicide.
http://www.nbc11.com/health/2191468/detail.html
http://www.thecatsite.com/Snips/120/Ouch-M...-Cat-Bites.html
Cat bites at the clinic I worked with were treated as high level biohzard type accidents. Usually a trip to the ER and antibiotics followed.
http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,635166674,00.html
http://www.thepetcenter.com/imtop/bite.html
I have seen cats litterally climb walls and hang from the ceiling, fly at people's faces and attack them( I know it's happened to me). I have had to have other people pull a cat off me because all four paws and claws as well as all of it's teeth decided to try and assimilate my arm.
I still have the scars... they look liek I tried to commit suicide.
http://www.nbc11.com/health/2191468/detail.html
http://www.thecatsite.com/Snips/120/Ouch-M...-Cat-Bites.html
Merlyn
Thrawn's pretty pretty play thing
I love cats though but I have a HUGE respect for the little furry fuckers, they can do a LOT of damage to human flesh when they want to .
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Ki' @ Aug 16 2006, 08:17 PM) [snapback]106705[/snapback][/center]
he he I have weapons and I am not afraid to use them,!!!!!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3551672.stm
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Ki' @ Aug 16 2006, 08:17 PM) [snapback]106705[/snapback][/center]
OMG *dies laughing*
...how true Ackis!
and for more cuteness.....
...and for my next trick i will make my genitals disappear in about 6 more weeks!!!
...see? Nothing in my paws!
[/b]
he he I have weapons and I am not afraid to use them,!!!!!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3551672.stm
