This analysis is by my son, a three-year-old that prefers Super Mario World over Paper Mario and Link to the Past over Twilight Princess. Just based on that alone, he is probably more qualified to review games than 80% of The Gaming Press. His favorite game before Super Mario World was Katamari Damacy and its sequel, which should give you some background on his biases. Also, he calls Katamari Damacy "Na-na Ball".
Me, personally, I don't like Sega games. Shocking, yes, but true. They are just a bit too fast and flashy for me to take any of them seriously at all. However I wanted to see what this Phantasy Star shit was all about, and Phantasy Star Universe for 360 was $30. My wife was not home and I was playing with the boy, so I decided to try it on him.
Me: "You want to see this new game I got?"
Son: "Nah."
Me: "I want to show it to you before Mommy gets home, she might not like me showing you."
Son: "OK."
I boot up the 360 and, as with every time, he asks "Na-na Ball?"
Me: "No, not Na-na Ball. That's in the Playstation, the black one."
Son: "Oh, yes."
I put in PSU and start it up. Cutscenes! I thought it was some sort of dungeon romp.
Son: "Is you playin' now?"
Me: "Not yet. Lots of movies."
I gain control later.
Son: "Go upstairs."
Me: "They won't let me."
Son: "Why not?"
Me: "No idea."
Eventually I find the elevator and go up to the fourth floor.
Son: "Go on that escalator."
Me: "They don't want me to, that guy won't let me."
Son: "Where you is goin'?"
Me: "I'm not sure."
More movies.
Son: "You is playin' now?"
Me: "No."
Son: "You is playin' now?"
Me: "No."
Repeat a few times.
Eventually I get to a point where someone takes the invisible purse from the annoying girl, and the main guy has to jump on his hoverboard to pursue the train that the thief got away in. The guy lands at the other station and I start walking around.
Son: "Where is your flying skateboard?"
Me: "Yeah, where is it? I could use it right now."
I walk around more.
Me: "Where, indeed."
After two more cutscenes, I figure the little guy has had enough, but he has been pretty tolerant. I skip one and suddenly I am running around a ruined station.
Son: "What are those blue thingies?"
Me: "I don't know. I bet they told us in that movie I skipped. You want to play something else?"
Son: "NA-NA BALL!"
