Random Rant

Timi

New member
I know this topic has been beaten to death lately, but something needs to be said. All of Maj. Big Penis's views about life come straight out of "Teach Yourself Radicalism in 30 Minutes". Note that some of the facts I plan to use in this letter were provided to me by a highly educated person who managed to escape Penis's gloomy indoctrination and is consequently believable. I can't possibly be alone in my view that Penis's disquisitions are written in a peculiar doublespeak that is hard for the uninitiated to understand. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now, I'll simply summarize by stating that the cry of "bigot" is raised mostly by bigots. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding Penis's condescending whinges. Penis's accusations are as appealing as braces, acne, and a wooden leg at the senior prom. However true that is, we've all heard Penis yammer and whine about how he's being scapegoated again, the poor dear.

Penis has a glib proficiency with words and very sensitive nostrils. He can smell money in your pocket from a block away. Once that delicious aroma reaches Penis's nostrils, he'll start talking about the joy of masochism and how truth is merely a social construct. As you listen to Penis's sing-song, chances are you won't even notice his hand as it goes into your pocket. Only later, after you realize you've been robbed, will you truly understand that his claim that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength is factually unsupported and politically motivated.

Penis is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of xenophobic speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list! As everyone who has access to reliable information knows, the really interesting thing about all this is not that one can predict on empirical grounds that in the coming days he will violate the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship. The interesting thing is that he always tries to rationalize his theatrics with compelling gobbledegook about some "greater good". And I can say that with a clear conscience because he seems to have recently added the word "characteristicalness" to his otherwise simplistic vocabulary. I suppose Penis intends to use big words like that to obscure the fact that disagreeable and wretched, his principles resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that Penis says that he can override nature. That's his unvarying story, and it's a lie: an extremely cocky and juvenile lie. Unfortunately, it's a lie that is accepted unquestioningly, uncritically, by Penis's forces. If Penis is going to talk about higher standards, then he needs to live by those higher standards.

Where are the solid statistics that prove that hanging out with the most crass hoodwinkers I've ever seen is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience? I've never seen any. Yet, if you've read this far, then you probably either agree with me or are on the way to agreeing with me.

Let us postulate that Penis should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery, specifically, his ego. In that case, you, of course, now need some hard evidence that I wish Penis would vanish into the same logistical nothingness that his arguments invariably lead to. Well, how about this for evidence: If he feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. Penis's arrogance has brought this upon himself. To borrow the immortal words of a certain, well-known authority figure, "I find Penis's reification of despotism a tad disconcerting." You might not care that what Penis considers a fair shake, the rest of us consider a repressive, humiliating, culture-stripping experience, but you'd better start caring if you don't want Penis to strip people of their rights to free expression and individuality. To deny that his sycophants should reevaluate their cherished assumptions about diabolism is petty nonsense and political irresponsibility. It is nonsense because anger is contagious. And it is irresponsible because he can't possibly believe that the sky is falling. He's shallow, but he's not that shallow.

I'm at loggerheads with Penis on at least one important issue. Namely, he argues that society is screaming for his ventures. I take the opposite position, that Penis is hell-bent on suppressing our freedom. So don't feed me any phony baloney about how the ancient Egyptians used psychic powers to build the pyramids. That's just not true. He, already oppressive with his randy crusades, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species -- if separate species we be -- for his reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought, then consider that if you think about it you'll see that Penis's venom-spouting, fatuitous objectives are merely a distraction. They're just something to generate more op-ed pieces, more news conferences for media talking heads, and more punditry from people like me. Meanwhile, Penis's followers are continuing their quiet work of advancing Penis's real goal, which is to trample over the very freedoms and rights that he claims to support. If Penis gets his way, we will soon be engulfed in a Dark Age of academicism and indescribable horror. That's why I'm telling you that he deeply believes that he does the things he does "for the children". Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: We'll know soon enough just how prissy these sorts of peddlers of snake-oil remedies can be. No joke.

Penis shouldn't legitimate irresponsibility, laziness, and infidelity. That's just common sense. Of course, the people who appreciate his drug-induced ravings are those who eagerly root up common sense, prominently hold it out, and decry it as poison with astonishing alacrity.

Penis has an uncritical -- almost a worshipful -- attitude toward the worst types of crazy subhuman-types there are. Am I saying that we are being insidiously, conspiratorially, and treasonously led by deception, by bribery, by coercion, and by fear to take advantage of human fallibility to promote vexatious ideologies such as Bonapartism? Yes. That Penis often uses the phrase, "Studies show that...", to introduce statements that wind up being chiefly about ideology, hunch, or preference? Maybe. That a record of Penis's acts of hypocrisy would fill volumes? Definitely.

We are at a crossroads. One road leads into the light of a bright, shining future in which combative liars and cheats like Penis are completely absent. The other road leads into the darkness of classism. The question, therefore, is: Who's driving the bus? That's the big question. If you knew the answer to that then you'd also know why there is a format Penis should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts. He assigns blame to everyone but himself. And let me tell you, he has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. Be honest; can you in any way believe Penis's claim that his way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't? I decidedly cannot, mainly because his initiatives are based on a technique I'm sure you've heard of. It's called "lying".

If you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will doubtlessly find that if Penis can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune, I will personally deliver his Nobel Prize for Dangerous Rhetoric. In the meantime, one could truthfully say that Penis's modus operandi is to hoodoo us. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that that's just one side of the coin. The other side is that he hates it when you say that the confusion that he creates is desirable and convenient to our national enemies. He really hates it when you say that. Try saying it to him sometime, if you have a thick skin and don't mind having him shriek insults at you. Penis thinks that free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing him and the cantankerous beggars in his solipsism movement. However, I, not being one of the many uncontrollable politicasters of this world, am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke him to bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives. Don't kid yourself: If he thinks his doctrines represent progress, Penis should rethink his definition of progress. A trip to your local library would reveal that he had promised us liberty, equality, and fraternity. Instead, Penis gave us priggism, clericalism, and corporatism. I suppose we should have seen that coming, especially since I am shocked and angered by Penis's disruptive improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated. That's all I'm going to say in this letter, because if I were to write everything I want to write, I'd be here all night.
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(MoobKrad @ Jun 5 2006, 02:34 PM) [snapback]84643[/snapback][/center]
Those were the worst spent 8 minutes. [/b]

And you'll never get them back! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! :devil:
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Timi @ Jun 5 2006, 11:38 AM) [snapback]84645[/snapback][/center]
And you'll never get them back! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! :devil:
[/b]
Don't need them back, you can have'em
 
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